We’ve all been there. You have a great apartment, love the location of it, but there’s one thing you would change if you could: your roommate. Maybe they’re inconsiderate, leave the apartment a mess, don’t pick up after themself, or don’t pay their share of the bills on time. Perhaps you started off getting along and now it’s hard to be in the same room as them. Before you think about evicting your roommate, there’s a way to turn things around. Here’s how to deal with a bad roommate.
Communicate Your Frustrations
Often times, your roommate is simply oblivious that they are, in fact, a bad roommate. The first thing you should do is have a conversation with them and openly express your frustrations. If their habits are upsetting you, tell them. If they’re inconsiderate or rude to you or your guests, let them know. Be straightforward and honest about how you feel.
When it comes to things like paying bills on time, your roommate needs to hear that it isn’t necessarily a personal issue you have with them, it’s something that affects your apartment’s livability. Failing to pay bills on time means your utilities or internet may get turned off without notice. No one wants to come home to an apartment with no running water or lights, and if one of you is not paying their portion of the bill on time, there’s a strong possibility that may happen. If your roommate is having trouble affording the bills because they’re too high, there are plenty of ways to lower your utility bill so that coming up with the money is not an issue.
Provide Specific Examples
Nothing makes for a less productive discussion then when you speak in broad, general terms. The more specific you get, the better idea your roommate will have of what bothers you. They can’t know which bad habits to change if they aren’t clear on which ones are frustrating you.
If you’re having an issue with the cleanliness of the apartment, tell your roommate exactly what was dirty and when you found it that way. For example, instead of saying “the kitchen is always dirty”, tell them they left dirty dishes in the sink for 5 days straight last week. If you feel disrespected or personally offended by their behavior, bring up an exact time where you felt that way instead of simply stating that they are disrespectful.
Explain How It Affects You
Does your roommate play loud music that keeps you up at night and interrupts your sleep? Are you having trouble cooking because they don’t clean pots and pans when they’re done using them? Living with roommates can be tough, and what each of you does in your living space can affect the other in many ways.
Sometimes people aren’t aware of how their actions affect others around them, and it’s a good idea to spell this out for your roommate so they’re clear on what they’re doing. Explain to them how their behaviors affect your daily life, and include everything from your ability to function at work, bring guests over, cook, and live in an inviting, clean space.
Suggest Changes
To really see results from any conversation or discussion you have with your roommate, you’ll want to suggest some changes they can make. If they leave the common spaces messy, perhaps suggest a cleaning schedule. You can both take on certain responsibilities or trade off weekly so that you’re both contributing equally to the apartment’s cleanliness. That way, it will be clear who hasn’t done their part.
If it’s your roomie’s behavior toward you that’s the issue, suggest better ways to communicate. Maybe they think you have guests over too often and they’re rude to them when they arrive. Or, perhaps something is bothering them in their work or personal life and they’re taking it out on you because you’re around. Try to understand why they’re behaving the way they are and politely make suggestions as to how they can treat you better in the future.
Lead By Example
Of course, you can’t expect your roommate to abide by your apartment rules if you don’t follow them, as well. Try creating a roommate agreement that each of you will follow. This will allow both of you to create some ground rules for the apartment. Make sure you do your part to be considerate, clean up after yourself in the common areas, and treat your roomie with respect.
Make your personal space a model for how you want the common spaces to look. Tidy up your room, keep your personal items out of the common areas, and clean up after you cook. This will give your roommate an idea of how you want the apartment to look.
Not quite in your ideal apartment yet? Great, you still have time to choose a good roommate. Once you do, be sure to look at all of our apartments for rent and find one that works for you and your new roomie.
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